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Often sex work involves negotiating multiple expectations, such as the expectations of clients, employers and your own. Before you start working at a sex industry business, you should discuss with your employer what the job requires of you and consider whether their terms meet your needs and standards.

Taking control of the session with your client can mean that sex work is more enjoyable. Demonstrating confidence and assertiveness can include confident body language and clearly stating what you are and aren’t comfortable with. Set up the session by discussing your boundaries. Maintain clear communication throughout the session, and don’t be afraid to take the lead by instigating positions or practices that you are most comfortable with.

Taking charge includes taking payment before the booking starts, and can include directing the session toward activities you prefer. For some this will involve performing a body contact massage then performing oral sex. At times you may want to minimise the time spent doing penetrative sex by directing the session toward other activities.  Different positions, like getting on top during penetrative sex, can allow you to control the depth and speed of the ‘thrust’.

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